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04 October 2008 @ 06:01 pm
Octoberfest today -- I broke 24:00, not sure by how much, but I did it! I think I'm actually starting to get the hang of this racing more than 400m thing, lol. I felt like I was going really fast the entire time, a lot faster than I normally go. It was pretty scary, actually. Everyone else did really well, though. :)

Here in about half an hour I'm going to finish getting ready for Homecoming festivities :) We're going to Taco Bell!! More updates later (?) If you're lucky, I suppose. :)
28 September 2008 @ 09:16 pm
I wish some people would leave my relationship the fuck alone. I don't need anyone to hold my hand or be my mother, thank you very much. I can handle myself without your approval.

I don't need you to tell Sean every single move I make. We trust each other and we have more important issues to deal with. Stay the fuck out, you have no idea what it's like.

Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
16 September 2008 @ 06:56 pm
I feel like crying.

I'm not caught up in school, mainly because I have no idea what the FUCK it is I'm supposed to be doing, or what's even going on.

I feel stupid. I feel like I can't think. I read words on a page and I can't comprehend them.

Sean MIGHT not be able to come home for homecoming...I just really wanted to see him.

Why does life have to suck all at once? Fuck this.
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
10 September 2008 @ 08:49 pm

So, is anyone else super stressed out by the college applications process??!?!

Just wondering. >_<

07 September 2008 @ 07:58 pm
He IS coming back for Homecoming! I'm SOOO excited!!

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12 August 2008 @ 11:55 am
You will now see this:

A Selective Spectrum

When you look at my userinfo. Enjoy :]

I'm rather proud of it :)
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11 August 2008 @ 10:14 am
12 July 2008 @ 11:57 pm
zOMG whur did all my moniez go?!
06 July 2008 @ 11:16 pm
SOooooo....once again, my uniform for work FAILS to get out of the dryer in time. So, I wear yet another damp polo to work. I mention something to Dad about buying another (for $15). Y'know what he says?

"Well, you just got your paycheck, right? That would be a good idea."

WTF. You just bought my stepmom a $700 camera and you can't spare the fucking $15 to buy me a shirt that I NEED for work. Actually, I wouldn't even need it, but it's not my fault that my shirt doesn't get washed/dryed fast enough -- I'm not the one who INSISTS that JoAnn do the laundry because she thinks she does it best. For the record: I fucking hate the way she does laundry.

Wait, wait, my weekend gets even MORE fabulous. I suffer a mental breakdown of sorts on the way to work which results in a cry-session in my car. I come home and talk to Sean on the phone about it and tell him about how I'm miserable because I miss him, I'm tired of being here and all of the CRAP that goes on here, how I'm not getting anything done it feels like, and how summer is moving too quickly. I cry, so he clearly knows I'm upset. He gives me a few words of helpfulness and then I try to cheer myself up by engaging in other conversation with him.

Well, every conversation I even start is interrupted by him talking to my cat (which he took because my mom would otherwise have sent my best friend of 9 years to the shelter) for long periods of time when he KNOWS we only get 45min. a day. He asks me what's wrong because I'm quiet. Well, obviously I'm not going to be all rainbows and butterflies when I'm fucking miserable. This trend continues with me trying to talk and him constantly talking to my cat and occasionally complaining about his house.

Then I finally say "It seems like you're more interested in talking to my cat than me" (jokingly) He responds with something I don't quite remember.

(jokingly) "So you're going to run off with my cat and leave me?"
"Hey, I'm the one who took your cat for you because your mom was going to send her to the shelter."
"...I was joking..."
"What's wrong, you're really quiet? It feels like something's wrong and you're not telling me"
"It just feels like you're not all that into talking to me tonight."
"What do you mean, you're the one being quiet?"
"Everytime I try to talk to you, you get distracted or something."
"Well I'm sorry! I try to do everything for everyone and the only thing I get back is dirt thrown in my face!"
*shocked silence* "And you wonder why I never tell you when something's wrong?! I tell you and then you get pissed!"
And then he's mad at me, our 45 minutes are up, and we're forced to say goodbye and we're PISSED at each other.

I mean...really...REALLY...I'm not even sure what I want right now. I just want everything to stop, to be back to the way it was. I'm so tired of everything. I'm just fucking miserable.